The other day, I finished mailing my invitations. I have licked 120 envelopes. All I could think about the whole time was that episode on Seinfield when George's fiance licks all those cheap envelopes and dies that night from glue poisoning. Not being as bright as some of my friends who after the task was completed suggested using a damp cotton ball or sponge, my mouth was extremely dry.
My grandmother was all freaked out that now I am sending my DNA to all these people. I don't even really know how to respond to that. Ummmm, well yeah, but if they really wanted a sample I am sure they could get their hands on one. Besides I have nothing to hide. My DNA is flawed like everyone else's. And I am not wanted for any violent crimes as far as I know. So I am more concerned about the state of my hydration and not the state of my dried DNA.
But if anyone does get a DNA sample and runs it, could you let me know the results? I want to know what I am going to die from someday!
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