Please don't bite me!

In this town there is a weekly publication called "The Mountain Trader." This is where the local folk advertise such things as cars, land, couches, snowblowers, firewood, used spas, fill dirt, cinnamon rolls, amps, postal jobs, jogging stroller, prom dresses, butcher pigs, colonics (yes, it is what it sounds like), bread machines, welding, fresh honey, and well, you get the idea. It makes for very interesting reading if you have the time. http://www.mountaintrader.biz/

Well, I saw some dressers in there that I thought maybe I would buy. They were only $75. So I call up the number and find out that the lady works night and will give me a call back. Turns out that she is a bartender. So she gives me directions to come out and take a look at the dressers. The address is 527 ____. So I make my way to BFE and the place is getting scarier and scarier. See I have been trailer parks before, but these are ones that people donated for tax purposes, I think. I find the street and find 533 and right next to it is 519. Hmmm, I pull out my trusty cell phone and give the woman a call. I have to go down an ally and there is 521 and 529. (I am still not sure where 525 is. If I go between both 521 and 529 shacks, I come to 527 1/2. That is really the address on their trailer! 10 feet further down I finally find 527.

As I attempt to park my car (except there really aren't parking places) a large German Shepard comes bounding out to greet me. His tail is not wagging and I wait a few moments in anxious expectation that another human of some sort will come out and call off the dog. No such luck. So I proceed to open my door and make my way to the house(?). The lady comes out and shows me into a shed where she has the dressers except they look to big to fit in our bedroom, and the bottoms are not even real wood. Meanwhile the large German Shepard is breathing down my pant leg the entire time. I tell the woman that I will go home and measure my room and attempt to get out of the situation as quickly as possible without being rude. This is the recorded attempt of me trying to use The Mountain Trader to find a deal.